Because I'll never have to worry about being alone.

I know i should be updating my philippines trip blog, but i dont feel like it! ill probably update that later, but right now i was kind of inspired by a certain lady to write something. Sooo update!

hmm, not really much, I've just been working a lot and buying random sneakers that I don't really need. Life's a breeze when you just sit back and let it unfold.

On another note, Ive realized how fortunate i am to have such close friends. I realized that a good amount of people can't truly say they have a true inner circle of friends. I've learned so much about myself from my friends. They've helped me grow and overcome problems within. I've learned to become much more thick skinned yet respectful and level-headed just from being around my friends. In short, they're great people, and I'm thankful they're there for me.


super side note, Ive been listening to this band Angus and Julia Stone a lot lately. they're really good.

Philippines bound!

Im heading back to the motherlands for the summer! ill fill you in later, im too excited to type

Talk about bad luck.

Have you ever met someone and instantly knew you wanted to spend the rest of you're life with them? Well I've met that girl, unfortunately; she left my life just as quickly as she entered.

So in other words.... SHITS WEAK!!!!


(()))SIDENOTE(()))
I ordered the stone/aqua 6.0 Oncore highs and the SB Omar Salazar purple midcuts. I think I'm spending too much money.

Last isn't always that bad..

Sometimes it's not about winning the race, sometimes it's more about just being in it, in the thick of it all instead of in the sidelines watching. So much has been presented to me. My mind seems to be overflowing, a plethora of information and emotion. There are so many things going on in my life right now and I'm so happy to be overwhelmed. I work constantly but the job is cake, I fucking sell shoes. Come on, that's like allowing cookie monster to work at Mrs. Fields! For the first time in a long time I'm sticking to my goal. Fearless with anything I do, limitless in what I choose to do, and honest in how I feel. No more riding shotgun, I'm controlling how and where my life goes. I might not end up reaching the "standardized" idea of what's considered "social norm" as quick as everyone else my age but thats fine. Let everyone else claw their way to any old profession, let everyone else sit on the sidelines while their lives follow a pre-destined path. As for me, I'm doing what I want and it's been amazing. I'm straying away from having to constantly compete with the world and I'm moving towards being content with where I am now; because I know I'll move forward. Progression is a part of life so I don't need to worry, I should just enjoy "now". I know my future is bright, whatever it may be. There's no way it can be anything other then amazing, I won't allow any less and the changes I make now are definitely going to help kick start "John's Bad Ass Life".

((((((((((((())))))))))))))))(SIDENOTE)(((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))
She's been on my mind a lot lately. I'm going to pursue her.

its a little harder then just your average six step.

dusting off the deezy chucks and getting back into my bboy shit!

what ever happened to the future?

its really funny how at one point in my life whenever i thought about the future i didnt think about a specific job, or a specific place. I didnt even think about me performing a specific task. I remember back to a time, when all i thought about was walking down the isle, with you. There were no people, there was no place, there weren't even doors that we came from. It was just a vast sea of white and us. John __ and Kath____ V_____ (come on, im not gonna post all the nitty gritty out there like that). At the time I couldnt understand why thats all i thought about, or even why our wedding seemed so bland...monotone..white. Now that i think about it though, maybe thats how its suppose to be. Just two people, walking hand in hand towards destiny, each other. The world around them didn't exist, because they existed inside each other, for each other.

Actually, i guess you could say i did think of a specific job, my job, or what it would say on my business card would be: professional aficionado of all things kathy. The specific place would be: deep in the most inner chamber of her sacred heart, and what tasks would i have to perform you ask? well, my only task would be to love you forever.

man, if i could just turn half the sappy, cheesy stuff i write into a book...i'd probably make bank! im sure there are other hopeless romantics out there just waiting to read how they feel on a book published by someone else. right?

I still believe in first love, which means i still believe in you.

a long time ago i promised i'd always love you.
a long time ago you promised you'd always love me.
a long time ago we were just young kids stuck in a never ending text message conversation.
it might have been a long time ago, but for my heart those moments never seem that far away.

i remember walking a mile in the middle of the cold night, just to see you.
i remember making fun of your socks, and your billabong hoodie.
i remember how you stood me up on the first date we never had.
there are so many random things about us that i remember, and i wouldn't have had it any other way.

so here's to heaven.
here's to "i love you" a million times.
here's to breaking up over Romeo + Juliet.
here's to getting back together through email a few hours after breaking up over Romeo + Juliet.
here's to never having that first date, and not needing it...

Here's to feeling your love, without ever touching your hand. I know we were miles away, but at one point our souls found a way to each other. We managed to form a bond, of love, of friendship. Truly my first love, the only one for me. The that won't get away. After all these years, you've never missed a birthday. No matter how much distance came between us or the new flings in our lives, we always managed to still feel that spark for each other.

I'll love you always.