DJE(dream journal entry) #1

This is my very first entry in the dream journal I've decide to keep.  If you don't know what I'am doing or why I'am doing this read my previous entry titled Dream On. I won't usually add a little pretext like this, but since this is my first entry in a long line of entries I figured I should add a little explanation.  When I write these I plan to go straight into it.  I will be writing very informally and more then likely I wont pay any attention to punctuation(not that I really do now.) I plan on writing these as soon as I wake up so I still have the dream fresh in mind. Now without further a do.

so i had a dream that i was spiderman but in an underground series of tunnels and these bad guys were chasing me.  i remember dispatching them one by one until i reach a dead end full of 5 or 6 bad guys.  i fought them all until i realize that the bad guys who were very 3 stooges-like kept getting up.  they seemed to be unbeatable.  so i decide to climb the wall until i come to an opening in the ceiling.  i climb out and then im in a completely different scene.  im myself again, in the rain, with my brother ajel.  im at a funeral but i don't know whose.  i see familiar faces like my mother's and father's.  im mad at my mom for some reason, i dont know why.  i get to the casket and its an old man, supposedly its a relative of mine and the reason im mad is because my mom sent me and ajel away and the elderly man who passed away was the one who took us up.  I begin to cry and say things like " you were the only one that cared when no one wanted us" I begin to yell in anger and ajel is telling me to shut up.  I realize im being disrespectful and stop.  the scene again changes and now im in what appears to be my dorm room here on base but in someone's house.  its the elderly man's house.  me, ajel and my uncle are sitting on my bed and my mom comes in. she hugs us and we all cry.  i say im sorry and then i wake up.

After having this dream or should I say series of "mini-dreams" I tried to analyse it to the best of my ability.  From what I can tell, the dream of me being Spiderman was me running from something while dealing with it slowing and in small increments.  This then leads to the inevitable face to face encounter in which I try to face it but realize I don't have neither the strength or technique to defeat this adversary.  Maybe it symbolizes putting more on your plate then you can handle.  Lately I have been trying to juggle a lot more things.  Then the most peculiar dream is this funeral.  I figured it had something to do with my grandfather Juan Vergara Sr.  When he passed I couldn't cry for some reason.  Maybe it was the mind numbing fact that he was really gone that dammed up all my emotions.  All i know was that in my dream I'm an emotional mess.  The mess I deeply longed to be in my heart when he passed.  Then this issue with my mom. I guess it was the years of clashing with my parents as a teen that decided to reincarnate itself in my dreams again.  As if to say, "hey remember when you use to feel this way, you rebel jerk you."   

Dream on.

Recently I've been getting really into the study of lucid dreaming and astral projection, things of that nature.  It's very intriguing and from what I've read quite positive for bettering your life's path.  For those that don't know, lucid dreaming is the ability to realize you are dreaming and actually take control of all aspects of the dream.  This entails where you are in your dream, who you are with, what you are doing and what ever else you can possibly muster up.  Astral projection is the ability to recognize "self" and move from a physical state to a spiritual state.  This means your physical body is at rest but your concious mind allows you to leave your body in a the form of a "spiritual self" and venture into the world of astral plane.  I'm sure that some people reading this will think the notion a bit crazy or dangerous but I've done some research and will continue to do research on ways to ensure you stay in complete control as well as ways to protect yourself from what may be lurking in the abyss.  Some ways to truly better your experience that I just so happened to stumble upon are:
1.) Raising your Vibration Level

        - Vibration Level is the vibration or "aura" that you give off.  Beings of Highest level are considered enlightened.  These are the people you want to surround yourself with, they in turn will not only bring your vibration level up but also give you knowledge.  Beings of low vibration level are evil entities, from what I read its rare to encounter them unless your level is on the same frequency.  So essentially just keep joy, happiness and light in your heart.

2.) Meditation
          - Meditating is the ultimate preparation for any spiritual adventurer.  It not only calms you but will help bring you to a state of deep peace which in turn will help the cross over to the dream state.  Proper and daily meditation are key in having lucid dreams or astral projection.

3.)Dream Journals
           - For beginners or those that don't have a strong dream recall a dream journals is definitely a must!  It is a good way to start recalling dreams and a good way help in learning to understand your dreams thusly leading to the ability to control them.

There are more methods and tips but these there were the most common ones throughout all the accounts of reading.  Daily meditation, maintaining a high positive vibration level, and a dream journal are 3 good ways to start if you plan on experiencing a more hands on dream.

**DISCLAIMER**
Now I've decided to keep my dream journal on here.  I'll record my most vivid and memorable dreams on here until I can bring my mental capacity to recall dreams into a high state.  Just be warned my dreams are a bit odd and sometimes just down right weird.

We're not so different you and I, right?

Breathe. Just breathe. It's that simple. When times get hard just tell yourself to breathe, and you'll see how much easier it is to think. I hate letting stress get to me. I hate forgetting to stay calm and acting based on rationality rather then emotion.

that moment when you realize you've jumped the shark after jumping the shark four times already.

It has come to my attention that I write a lot of sappy things. Shame on hopeless romantic ole' me. My page has gotten very repetitive and that is exactly what I have feared. I look back at older posts and it seems as though my main goal was to use this as an outlet to talk about things that fancied my interest or nudged my mind. Somewhere along the line it then became a hole where I felt the need to bury the my unstable emotional life and complain like a whiny bitch about girls that I really had no business caring about. Then again, maybe this was the purpose of my page, after all; there are a million blogs talking about all the latest hype. Perhaps in the end I involuntarily wanted a place where I could vent my emotions and free the feelings trapped within the dwellings of my heart. oh fuck it all! I don't care what I post on here. In the end this is mine, all mine. whether people read this or not means nothing to me. I don't need to give advice to the masses or feel as though I should portray a certain image to the world. Screw you society for making me feel like I should have put other stuff on here!