Keep your head up kid, things will get better..

Ive always considered myself an individual that acts before calculating the factors of a situation. When asked whether i was the jumper or the pilot flying the plane my usual answer without hesitation would be jumper. I like to think im a free spirit, a pseudo-renaissance man of sorts. An open minded individual, fearless in what i do, ready to attack anything bringing me injustice. No words too harsh, no obstacle too hard and certainly no girl too unreachable. The world is my clay, ready for me to mold any which way i see it fit and the possibilities are endless. I wanted to catch lightning in a bottle, to write inspiring words that moved hearts, yet; somehow it seems like ive reached a wall. A giant brick wall layered in cement, reinforced with steel, and fitted with level to drone guns...whatever those are. Why? Why can't i seem to figure out what's wrong with me? Why does life seem so bland, so unfunny..


I can't seem to get past the rigmarole of sorting out all this emotion. I know everyone has these moments of insatiable boredom, and im no different, but; usually ill have my moment and then go do something that will completely whip the meloncholy away from my slate. Now though, I cant seem to find that "thing", no matter what i do, im still bored. With life, with people, with everything! I tried being more open, not that i wasn't already upfront to begin with,i tried changing my look by getting a mohawk, i even tried doing something i've never done before (stand-up comedy) and yet nothing has satisfied me. I haven't felt this way in a long time, not since Van and I parted ways.

fuck man....maybe im just bugging out, im sure something great is coming. You can't be this far down and not have something spectacular pull u right back up. I mean after all, i believe life goes in a pattern of ups and downs. Your only brought down so that you can have a reason to be brought up.